i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
