Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
