we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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