I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
