Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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