i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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