i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
