I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
