The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
