Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
