guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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