her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
