I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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