Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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