Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
