GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
