hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
