Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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