Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
