In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I know her cup size but not her name....
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