I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This baby is an asshole
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
