It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
