Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
