I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize