i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
