so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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