it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
