shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
