Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we made out on top of his cat.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
