Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
