She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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