oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize