Someone shit on the floor
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We're too hungover to prance.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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