just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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