Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
