i jhust puked up my retainher.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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