It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
