She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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