i don't like sucking hair
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
