What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
