I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
