Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
