There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
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