People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
