Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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