We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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