Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
