to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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