I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He shit in the fireplace
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
