I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
