That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
