his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize