Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
