Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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