It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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