Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
