your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
