That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
