your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
