I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
