You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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