I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
