well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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