It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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