I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Drunk is not a location!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
