I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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