Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
