Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
