Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize