dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
