I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
