there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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